Me: I put Doritos on my pizza. I feel like a chef.
My dad: Yeah, you're a chef alright. A pot smoking chef.
youuidiotkid: you’d think by now autocorrect would know i’m saying fucking and not ducking
therealhorusszahhak: This guy at my school shows up every day with like a fake wolf tail clipped to his back belt loop, and I always see him running from class to class and jumping over things and he looks so happy to exist and sometimes he brings a lil wolf puppet with him and he makes it run along next to him on the strings I’m just like u go wolf kid live ur dreams
esexist: i just got called a faggot by a group of 6th graders wearing polos
jordanxcain: It’s like I’m still competing to hangout with people. And I’m over that. I don’t think in the last three years, anyone has asked me to hangout. I always ask people. Shit gets old when you feel like you’re the only person making an effort.
I am a believer in coincidence: the coin, flipping.– Stephanie Lane Sutton, from “A Transitive Verb” (via the-final-sentence)